MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

FOR A LONG TIME I HAVE TRIED TO UNDERSTAND SCRIPTURE AND HOW TO APPLY THE WORDS TO MY EVERYDAY LIFE. I HAVE GONE TO BIBLE STUDY FOR YEARS THINKING THAT WOULD HELP ME TO FIND THE WAY TO THE LORD. I STUDIED GOD’S WORD BUT DID NOT TRULY KNOW HOW TO USE THEM IN MY LIFE. I PRAYED BUT ONLY WHEN I COULDN’T SEEM TO FIX MY OWN PROBLEMS. WHEN JESUS WAS CRUCIFIED ON THE CROSS, I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE FULL MEANING OF THE CROSS. JESUS WAS THE SON OF GOD AND HIS DESTINY WAS TO REDEEM MANKIND. HE WAS INNOCENT OF SIN AND ONLY PREACHED LOVE ONE ANOTHER. WHEN JESUS SAID “I AM FINISHED” AND THE WORLD GOT DARK, HE SHOWED US THE PAINFUL SEPARATION FROM GOD. THERE WOULD BE NO MORE SACRIFICES GIVEN TO GOD. JESUS WAS THE LAST SACRIFICE.

ONE OF THE LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED IS GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME, REGARDLESS OF HOW I PLAN MY LIFE, IT NEVER WORKS OUT THE WAY I WANT AND THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THE ENDING IS SOMEWHAT UNSATISFACTORY. THE ROAD I HAVE TRAVELED ON HAS BEEN FULL OF TURNS AND TWISTS. WHEN OUR GROUP CHOSE SARAH YOUNG’S “CALLING JESUS” AS A BIBLE STUDY, I FOUND MYSELF SEARCHING FOR THE PEACE I NEEDED IN MY LIFE. I GOT RID OF WHAT I THOUGHT WOULD SOUND APPROPRIATE TO GOD AND FOUND THE MEANING OF GOD’S WORD. ALL HE WANTS FROM ME IS TO LIVE IN HIS PRESENCE. TO ASK HIM FOR GUIDANCE AND HOW TO LIVE IN PEACE AND HARMONY. I AM STILL LEARNING HOW TO LET GO AND LET GOD DO IT.

IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO GIVE UP MY CONTROL OF MY LIFE. I WASN’T DOING A GOOD JOB OF IT AND I WAS BECOMING FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY WITH EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING. NOTHING WAS MAKING ME HAPPY. I WAS GETTING A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE AND I DID NOT LIKE WHAT IT WAS DOING TO ME. IT WAS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR ME WHEN I REALLY READ GOD’S WORD. NOW I AM TAKING TIME OUT TO SPEND WITH JESUS. TO MEDITATE IN HIS PRESENCE. TO FIND DIRECTION AND ASK HIM TO BE WITH ME.
I HAVE DAYS WHEN I GET BUSY AND I OVERLOOK MY TIME WITH THE LORD AND AS A RESULT FRUSTRATION AND BAD ATTITUDE STEP RIGHT IN AND TAKE OVER. IMMEDIATELY I FEEL THAT THIS IS NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE. EVERY DAY I AM CHALLENGED BY DISTRACTIONS. BUT IN ORDER TO FACE WHATEVER IS WAITING, I FIND I HAVE TO TAKE TIME TO TALK TO THE LORD. I NEED HIM TO SET THE DAY FOR ME. WHEN I START MY DAY WITH THE LORD AND KEEP HIM WITH ME IT IS GOOD FOR EVERYONE. WHATEVER HAPPENS TO CAST A BLACK CLOUD OVER THE DAY, IT IS TAKEN CARE OF IN A WAY THAT DOES NOT CAUSE CHAOS.

JESUS CALMS ME WHEN I START FEELING UPTIGHT AND DEFENSIVE. I WANT MY SENSE OF HUMOR BACK AND FIND LAUGHTER IN MY LIFE. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH WHATEVER HAPPENS USING WORDS AND ACTIONS THAT WOULD HAVE GOD’S APPROVAL. THIS BIBLE STUDY HAS SHOWN HOW GOD’S WORD AND HIS PRESENCE CAN HELP ME THROUGH WHATEVER PROBLEMS WILL ARISE. WHO ELSE CAN GIVE US WORDS THAT HELP US DEAL WITH THE WORLD? WHAT I AM FINALLY ADMITTING AND ACCEPTING IS THE CROSS WAS NECESSARY FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO GOD AND THAT JESUS IS THE WAY. WITHOUT HIM I WOULD BE TRULY LOST.
I KNOW GOD LISTENS WHEN I TALK TO HIM AND I KNOW THAT HE KNOWS WHAT IS IN MY HEART AND WHAT MY THOUGHTS ARE. BUT WHAT I REALLY NEED TO DO IS PRAY FOR OTHERS WHOSE HEARTS ARE COLD AND TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE CAUSED INTENSE FEELINGS OF REVENGE AND DISLIKE IN THE PAST. JESUS SAID FORGIVENESS IS NECESSARY FOR YOU TO FEEL AT PEACE. FORGIVE THOSE WHO NEED TO BE FORGIVEN AND LET GOD DEAL WITH THEM. I NO LONGER NEED TO FIGHT MY BATTLES. THE LORD WILL DO IT FOR ME. I JUST NEED TO TURN EVERYTHING OVER TO HIM AND LET IT GO.

MY JOURNEY TO FIND THE LORD HAS BEEN A LONG ONE. I HAVE ALWAYS LONGED TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. HIS WORDS ARE GUIDELINES FOR ME TO FOLLOW DAILY. HE WANTS TO HEAR MY PRAYERS AND PETITIONS. I CAN TALK TO GOD ANYTIME AND ANYWHERE. HE IS WITH ME ALWAYS.

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