In my last blog, I stated that I can only think that I have been in a relatively calm period that I should want VERVE or excitement. Now that a new crisis has arrived, I realize how foolish I have been.
Yes, I wanted to change my life style, but I wanted the changes to be good ones, not bad ones. Now I realize that bad changes come and it is how we deal with them that reveals who we are. Letting go of anger, letting go of false expectations, letting go of grief, is the only way we can move forward.
Today I wanted to recap this period and, of course, started with getting quotes that would help and inspire me. Man, was I surprised to read these quotes because now I know that there is truth in them…that is, chaos can bring newness…new ideas, new changes that will allow growth and hopefully, eventually, understanding. Dealing with my fear of chaos and overcoming that fear was my biggest problem. Isn’t it funny that after we go through a difficult period that so many times we look for the inspiration that we should have sought at the beginning.
“Order brings sameness. Chaos brings newness every moment. The problem is first overcoming our fear of chaos, and then mining for the great ideas and bringing them back home.”
“Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.” Steve Martin
“Do not let your difficulties fill you with anxiety, after all it is only in the darkest nights that stars shine more brightly.” Harat Ali Ibn Abu-Talib A.S.
When critical events come into one’s life, it is amazing how quickly doubt comes in to play. Doubt about how to handle the problem that will change almost everything.
- Did I do the right thing for everyone involved?
- Am I seeing the problem right?
- Is there a logical solution that will benefit everyone?
- Where is the perspective that should allow me to step back and view the big picture?
- Am I hearing the words spoken to me or is my hearing blocked by doubt?
- Words are spinning in my head and scenarios abounding of possible conclusions (mostly bad) causing mass confusion.
- Where did trust go? Trust that God is helping. Trust in the good and expert advice that was sought. Trust in the goodness of the people one is dealing with.
- Where did my sense of humor go? I now realize that the ability to laugh at one’s self is so necessary when going through difficult times as it gives perspective to the situation.
Tunnel vision is another problem that can happen during a crisis. Even though we may be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, we can’t see the hurts and anxiety that others in our life may be going through. Our own problems loom so largely often times it works like the blinders on horses that doesn’t allow them to see anything but the road ahead. During some of my most difficult times recently, I did not sense the anxiety and worries that others close to me were also going through.
While I was going through this chaotic time, I became nervous, sleeplessness prevailed and I felt that my life was changing too fast and I felt scared. I was dealing with anxiety, and most of all, I suffered from a mental block. Such feelings of apprehension would come over me that at times I felt immobile, unable to walk, talk or think. I also felt as if I was in a double life, one in which I must act as though everything in my life was going well and concealing the turmoil inside. As I finished this last week and the decisions were made, I felt some relief and a belief that there was going to be good coming from it; that a strengthening would come.
Most of all, I wanted my closeness with God to strengthen. I wanted His Word to become more important than anything else and to know that the following is true: Struggles will always be with us and anxiety and vulnerabilities to circumstances are part of living.
There are many books that can help us to deal with the anxiety and panic that comes upon us during times of chaos in our life. Techniques of breathing and meditation to calm the body and mind can be very beneficial. My favorite will always be the Bible. His promise of peace in the midst of a storm, His shelter in times of distress and His Love for us gives me the most comfort and the most security.
1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.